Editor's Note:  The following article by Kent first appeared in the summer 2003 issue of Church & Family magazine.

As my two-year-old son played in the floor, pretending to be “daddy,” I watched him without interrupting to see exactly what part of my life had made the greatest impact on him.  Maybe I was a bit presumptuous in assuming he would choose one of my godlier traits, because what I witnessed shook me to my core.

Derek didn’t pretend to read scripture, lead a prayer, visit a sick person, read a bedtime story, or hug mommy.  Instead, he picked up my briefcase and announced he had a meeting and we could play later! 

After that episode I found myself reevaluating the things I had considered important.  As a minister had I  become so preoccupied with tending to the needs of others that I was neglecting those that meant the most to me? 

If we were asked to list our priorities, most of us would rank our families right under our relationship with God.  Yet when it comes to the actual amount of time devoted to our priorities, families seem to get lost in the shuffle. Our culture is inundated with opportunities for each family member to fill up every waking moment.  As a result, we are raising a generation of children already stressed over grades, athletics, and a host of extra-curricular activities while still in elementary school. Attending three church services a week  and bringing green bean casseroles to church potlucks does not mean we are experiencing a spiritual life at home.

Quality family time is no accident.  It comes from a deliberate attempt to be proactive and take a stand when it comes to scheduling better things over good things.  Here are eight things that can help you strike that necessary balance.

Realize the need for Quality Family time.  Begin by praying for guidance, wisdom, and strength as you strive for a more godly family.  Also, it is imperative that we repent to our spouses and family members for any unnecessary “busyness” that has caused us to neglect the priority of our family.  By doing this, both our families and God see we are firmly resolved in our journey to establish more godly homes. 

Establish traditions and rituals.  Some of the most memorable family times for me growing up were playing board games, enjoying family vacations in our little travel trailer, or taking a night to look at old family pictures.  Traditions do not have to be elaborate or expensive.  They may be as simple as getting to eat from a special plate when you have experienced some personal achievement, or coming up with a creative way to divide up the chores. 

Allow your spouse veto power over your schedule.  Sometimes it is difficult for us to see how truly distracted we have become.  That’s why I have given my wife the authority to clear my calendar. Many successful families have a family night one day a week that is “sacred”.  On that night, they take the phone off the hook and make a point not to allow anything or anyone else to interrupt their time together.

Learn to Delegate.  In Ecclesiastes 2, Solomon spoke of how futile it was to work for things that will go, after we are gone, to someone who didn’t work for it.  Keeping our jobs in perspective will help us to get a better handle on what is truly important.  Just as Jethro told Moses in Exodus 18, we must be willing to find others to help lighten our loads.  It is sobering to realize that, if I were to pass from this world tomorrow, the church I work for would not collapse, but I am irreplaceable to my family.

Find your remote and then lose it.  Each fall our congregation participates in a “T.V. Free Week.”  For many this comes easy.  For others it is nothing short of impossible.  However, for all of us this experience teaches how easy it is for our home to become dominated by the television set.  During “T.V. Free Week” our family spent more time reading, playing outside, and simply talking.  Until we deliberately turned off our television we had never realized how noisy our house had become.

Become familiar with family time resources.  Want to spend more quality time with your family, but don’t have a clue where to start?  There is a multitude of resources available.  For example, Focus on the Family has an incredible series entitled Family Nights Tool Chest that offers countless ideas for family time. 

Start now. It is never too late to start working on a more spiritual family.  If you are waiting until your kids are in school, or for the summer, or for any other time you are wasting valuable time. 

Don’t give up.  Your family did not lose sight of spiritual values overnight and will not fully return to being a spiritual family overnight.  However, it is a journey worth taking.  The benefits of a family that is firmly grounded in the Word of God are well worth any temporary setbacks you may face along the way.

–Kent Jobe