A 40-year-old Colorado woman who told police she wanted to be a "cool mom" pleaded guilty to having sex with high school boys at parties where authorities said she supplied drugs and alcohol, according to an Associated Press report on July 25.  Detective R. J. Vander Veen said Silvia Johnson told police investigators "she was never popular with classmates in high school and now began "feeling like one of the group."  Johnson reportedly hosted parties for her daughter's classmates almost weekly for a year.  She was accused of providing drugs and alcohol to eight boys and having sex with five of them.

The moral confusion and personal depravity of this woman is so mind-boggling that at first glance she may seem mentally unbalanced. Upon further reflection, however, it occurs to me that there are other parents who, although they might not resort to such extreme behavior, nevertheless share many of same thought processes demonstrated by Ms. Johnson.  For example:

1.  Ms. Johnson is by no means the only parent who is burdened with the mistaken assumption that she needs to be "cool."  If a parent's first priority is to win a popularity contest with his or her teenage children, those young people will be deprived of the direction, correction, and discipline they need (cf. Proverbs 19:18, 22:15, 29:15

Responsible and mature parents will always act in the best interests of their children, even though the parents realize they will not always be liked by their children at the time.  It is far better for children to have parents they can respect  (Hebrews 12:9-11) than to have a mother or father who engages in foolishly juvenile behavior in a futile effort to be "cool."

2.  Ms. Johnson is by no means the only parent to model poor lifestyle choices.  Tragically, millions of American children are coming home from school to find dad shacking up with some woman he just met or mom's latest "boyfriend" spending the night.  Other children are regularly exposed to drug use, alcoholism, domestic violence and profanity.  If fathers and mothers hope to influence their children to adopt values and behaviors that will lead to success in life, then the parents must back up their  instruction with the credibility of their own good example (Romans 2:19-22).

While Ms. Johnson's own teenage daughter may have temporarily thought her mother was "cool" to be entertaining classmates with free drugs and alcohol, it is doubtful that she now has any respect for her mother at all.  And, given the environment in which this young lady has been raised, it doesn't take much foresight to predict that she may well suffer a terribly distorted sense of morality herself when she is grown.

3.  Ms. Johnson is by no means the only female to think that engaging in casual sex with males will make a woman "popular," although this is a mistake typically made by much younger and more naive women.  Such a desperately pathetic attempt to gain the favor of young men always ends in disaster for the woman.  They may seem happy to be in her company, but it is not for the reasons that the woman might imagine. In fact, if their behavior was typical of young males such situations, Ms. Johnson would have been devastated to hear how they undoubtedly discussed her in their locker room conversations.

4.  Finally, Ms. Johnson is by no means the only adult to remain stuck in a high school mentality.  Her stated excuse for her misbehavior, a desire to be "one of the group," reveals the motivation of someone who is both insecure and immature.  The wise man Solomon recognized that young people, who are still in the process of developing their identity and emotional stability, are particularly susceptible to peer pressure (Proverbs 1:10-19) and thus should heed the loving guidance of their parents (Proverbs 1:8-9).

Part of becoming a grown-up, however, and certainly one of the prerequisites for being a Christian, is having the moral character and emotional strength to do what pleases God even though it may not gain the immediate approval of others.  When a 40-year-old woman commits acts that are both immoral and illegal in order to feel like she is "part of the group," and especially when that group is composed of teens, it is a sign of extreme immaturity.

UPDATE:  Silvia Johnson pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual assault and nine counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.  On November 14, 2005, she was sentenced to 30 years in prison.

-Dan Williams
College Avenue church of Christ
El Dorado, Arkansas

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